The unwanted guest

If I can be just honest here, at this very moment, I’d like to pack my valuables and be missing for weeks and just go travel. Disconnect and detach from everyone for maybe a month or more then just breathe. Inhale life’s beauty and peace and exhale misfortunes and grudges and pain and anxieties.

Oh anxieties! How much you’ve consumed me these past months! Every time I wanna be happy and just laugh out loud like it is my first laugh ever, I would then stop cuz as what they say, we can’t be too happy cuz if you are, then misfortune would come like an unwanted guest you hope not to meet in this lifetime.

Oh anxieties, how bad your life might be that you wanna be present in everyone’s lives like you don’t have a place of your own! Isn’t it obvious that you are unwanted and unloved and yet here you are forcing yourself to be part of their struggling, hamster wheel daily battles. Isn’t it enough to be avoided or do you need to be confronted?

Oh anxieties, I don’t need you and if the only way to forget you is to make myself busy then give me millions for your unwanted rent in my space so I can travel and divert a little. Oh, don’t you worry after my long needed vacation, I will be back! Cuz I kinda find a home in you and HOME is difficult to find these days.

After all, without you, I would never know how to appreciate peace.