Filial Piety

Filipinos are known to having a stronger tie with their families. I, for one, proudly claim that Filipinos are very family oriented. In fact, our family is both our weakness and our strength. We thrive harder in life to give them a better life. We behave properly outside the comforts of our home as to not to bring shame to our bloodline. We are trained to be respectful to others as it is said to be a reflection of our upbringing. We braved being away and fly to other countries to support them financially – the biggest sacrifice for us as always. If we can only support our families without going to other countries, we would definitely choose that. Being away often leads us to homesickness. In fact, Filipino parents often do not encourage their children to move out of the home too soon, even after their sons and daughters have reached adulthood or even after they get married.

Some foreigners who have experienced living with Filipino families have envied the closeness of the relationship of each member. The unwavering support, the celebrations over life’s small and big achievements, the openly expressions of love – it may be through actions or words. And the list goes on and on. Looking at it, Filipinos display values and strong sense of family ties. However, what most foreigners are not aware of is that "obligation" is also a core Filipino value.

Obligation, yes! A duty or a commitment. We are forever in debt to our parents. We, as children, have to pay our parents back in return. If you are the eldest in the family, sometimes you are asked to pay for your younger sibling’s school fees. Well, for most of us, we feel happy to oblige to our parents demands. After all, they have done immeasurable things for us to be where we are now. This has been implanted in our conscious minds that we always have to give something in return. We owe them that after all those sacrifices in raising us. This seems to be just an act of appreciation or a way of saying thanks; thus, this has not become an issue for us.

Now here comes the plot twist. Picture this, you are the eldest among 7 siblings which means you have the responsibility to help your parents send them all to school. You happily obliged; you never cared about your well-being, your future and yes, your savings! What will happen to you after 5 years? When you turn 30?

Savings! As much as we wanted to save up for the future, this tend to be very challenging for us. For most of us, we spend around 80% of our salary for the family. How about the remaining 20%? We spend it for transportation going to work and for our daily consumption as well. I have nothing against with this structure and values. However, for the future parents (including me), let us not limit our children’s desires and plans by asking too much financial support.

Raising Filipino kids looks like playing with a kite in summer. We train them to aim higher, dream bigger and be reminded of endless possibilities but then still connected with the string putting limits to the heights of their desires because of obligations.

I am happy to be raised with values engraved in me; however, I will surely raise my kids a bit differently :)