A year of torture and pain

March 26, 2018

Dear Diary,

There were days that I was afraid of closing my eyes for I might miss seconds or minutes of my life that I would regret forever.

There were a lot of days that I was covered with fear that it almost ate me alive; that it almost changed the way I see things, things that used to be so happy and gay. I was caught up in the idea that soon enough everything would be covered with memories and sadness. I thought about my fear too much that I almost forgot to live the reality.

There were also days that I would just sit in the corner, stare somewhere blankly until I realize that I have been putting my eyes to rest for some time. I was physically at rest but my mind’s already somewhere unidentified until someone tapped my back that brought me back to my senses.

There were more days that I have to decide whether to be alive or be gone. Either way, I am still dying; hence, it doesn’t really matter.